Released December 31, 2021
During a bad storm in 2006, when I was nine years old, a huge oak tree in my backyard was struck by lightning and fell against the house. Feeling that it was quite a dramatic event, I opened the living room window, grabbed a leaf off the tree and sealed it in a sandwich bag with a note that read “from a tree that fell in my backyard”, dated 2006. How interesting, I thought, to preserve something as mundane as a leaf, something which would otherwise be lost to time and to my memories, as an artifact from that day. I mean, I probably just thought “wow a big tree fell, I’m going to keep a leaf from it”, but tomato tomato.
The passing of time, how we change, and how the world changes around us are concepts that have always interested me, and one which I’ve often come back to as a theme for different projects. I began practicing black and white photo colorization as a teenager for its capacity to give new life to the past, and in 2017, I Photoshopped my current self into my childhood photos in a series called “Childhood”. After Childhood, I began to think about how I could go further within this concept, and video felt like the natural next step.
In early 2021, with too much free time on my hands, I set out planning. At first, I considered pulling out all the filmmaking stops, such as renting the same space every 10 years for all of us to meet in, but I soon realized that would not be practical, nor necessary to achieve the goal of this project. Besides, it would be too complicated to get every version of myself in the same place each decade, since they are all living very busy and successful lives, I imagine.
Instead, I decided that I would place importance on the topics of discussion: questions, words of advice, predictions, reflections. However, since 4-year-old (2001) and 14-year-old (2011) Conor curiously did not have very much to say, and since there were no older Conors to answer the more introspective questions, I left my end of things on the shorter side this time. As such, this first edition will be the most concise of all the meetings.
My hope is that, with each decade and with every new me invited, the conversation will increasingly become richer and more insightful. Additionally, the filmmaking style of each edition will be determined by the eldest Conor, and so the visual style of the project will also change throughout the decades.
Though I am not the first one to make a video like this, I did want to give it a go. A Conversation With Myself isn’t exactly a film, nor is it inherently meant to be entertaining, but rather a sort of public diary, an honest record of changes throughout a lifetime, and the closest I'll get to speaking across time. Future editions will be longer, dive deeper, and encompass broader topics without limits on length.
In making this, there will almost definitely be imperfections; things I’ll regret having said or not having said, additions I’d wished I had included. But life is full of imperfection, and after all, this project isn't meant to be a complete self-portrait.
Nonetheless, the series will take my whole life to complete. So, in all of its self-indulgence, here is A Conversation With Myself. From all of me to you, I hope you enjoy.
-24 year old Conor